Cold War Kits

Did somebody say a new cold war?

Surely the rising Russian and Western tensions are nothing compared to the standoffs which we’ve all had to endure this summer.

The transfer sagas involving Ronaldo to Madrid, Lampard to Inter Milan, Berbabtov to Manchester United, Barry to Liverpool and Robinho to Chelsea at one point were exciting but now are as dull as an episode of Big Brother.

The war of attrition has been in full flow. There have been lots of propaganda in the press, telling tales of hypocrisy to FIFA and probably lots of behind the scenes slanging matches to rival that of Ken and Deirdre’s in Corrie the other week.

Come on Ken…we all know you’re better than old vein neck.

So the new iron curtain affectionately known as the transfer window slams firmly shut on Monday night.

And of the “big five” deals mentioned only two seem to have any life in them.

Ronaldo’s injury and Fergie’s hairdryer seems to have stalled any move to Madrid.

Frank Lampard’s probably swimming in his ducktales style money vault by now after signing his new deal at the Bridge.

And Gareth Barry… I think everyone feel asleep during the first three days of that one.

But this is football now. Transfer rumour and speculation is no longer fun.

Any deals that do happen are like a McCartney divorce…they become long drawn out bitter feuds, where in the end an over inflated twenty million gets paid out to keep a one legged donkey in flash cars and big houses.

So will Robinho arrive at Chelsea? Will the bottom lip of Dimitar Berbatov extend all the way up to Manchester?

I for one certainly hope so, just to prove that the tabloid press haven’t had our balls cupped in their sweaty, greasy palms all summer long.

SB