A Kick in the Balearics

Its back and don’t we just know it.

The eternal optimism that builds with the approach of every football season is easily shattered.

In my case it took about 13 seconds when Sheffield Wednesday scored their first of four against Burnley at Hillsborough on opening day...

…that’s even less time than it takes to shatter my sex life.

So with a four one defeat on opening day it was time for a holiday.

A week in Ibiza is quite similar to the football season. The excitement builds and builds, then as you go on, finding the energy to enjoy yourself often becomes a strain with the constant battering our bodies take during the whole process.

The only difference is; Ibiza does it physically, Football does it emotionally.

While away on the Sunshine Island there was of course a game. It felt strange to miss a home game at the turf, especially the first of the season. Fortunately the only decent action that was missed was a bloke from the red devils falling onto the roof of one of the stands.

The subsequent fifty minute hold up was perhaps just delaying the inevitable. Despite a reported bright start against Ipswich, once again three soft goals were leaked as we cemented our place at the bottom of the table.

It seems at the moment our defence is worse than Gary Glitter’s.

But surely things can only get better?!

Well maybe…

We roll onto game number three away to Neil Warnock’s Palace. A side that haven’t had the best of starts either. With a solitary point and no goals ol’ big ego will have his team fired up for what could be a rather open interesting encounter.

Or just another pasting?!

Moving on to other bits and pieces; and is it still ok to talk about England? Or has everyone given up?

Wednesday’s disjointed friendly showed us play good football for a good ten minutes…things are on the up!

I just hope Fabio’s decision not to start England’s best player Joe Cole is not a permanent one.

The boy oozes class and has constantly been our star man for years now. While Gerrard, Beckham, Lampard and Rooney are hit and miss Joe has been a constant threat.

At the moment the team seems to be too slow in the middle…Beckham, despite his fabulous delivery just doesn’t have the legs, a midfield pairing of Lampard and Barry looked sluggish and almost crying out for the combative nature of Gerrard and Hargreaves.

The defence is also a cause for concern. Is Wes Brown really England’s best right back? Is John Terry performances on the pitch for his country really worthy of captain? And for that matter is Rio’s? Or anyone’s for that matter?

It’s still all one big mess…albeit slightly less of a big mess than under Steve Van Der MacLaren.

After wowing the world with his Dutch accent, maybe rent a tan isn't the great big tit we thought he was.

I’ve head a rumour he’s in line to take over from Alistair McGowan and host “Steve MacLaren’s Big Impression” on the BBC…

…after all that was the best Martin Jol impression I’ve ever heard. And apparently there’s alot more in his locker.

You should see his impersonation of a rubbish manager… uncanny.

SB