Its panto season...but whos playing the back of the horse?

Its not even December and pantomime season is already upon us.

Not only do we have terrible acting in the form of an attempted dive by Wayne Rooney midweek but we also have more managers playing Widow Twanky than I care to mention.

The only thing that might be missing is a choir of Spurs fans singing risqué double entendre to Sol Campbell.

Although that’s probably a good thing.

This weekend seems to be a week of derbies, with Manchester, the Tyne Tees and London all gearing up for heavily anticipated clashes.

In Manchester, Six Alex, unfortunately not wearing a wig and a dress, has been dismissing City’s chances of eventually overtaking United with their vast new found fortunes and even found time in his analysis to conclude Arsenal are in “disarray”.

“Oh yes we are” screamed Hughes.

“Oh no we’re not” whispered Wenger.

Pantomime villain William Gallas’ behaviour has for a long time been as bizarre as Britney Spear’s reported X Factor demands and it was only right he was dropped as captain.

Now the articulate Frenchman has written a book, which if previous form is anything to go by will probably seal his transfer away from the Emirates.

Chelsea manager Luiz Felipe Scolari has backed the Gunner’s insisting they are not out of the title race just yet and a victory against his side on Sunday would get their season back on track.

I doubt Wenger and his players even believe Scolari’s prophecy. In fact it’s probably about as convincing as that old fairy tale where three bears chase away a dirty young scamp for messing around in their bed.

And no, I’m not making more revelations about Boy George’s private life.

As the season hots up, expect more of these mind games, dramas and verbal foul play.

Let’s just hope the jousting continues to be as thrilling on the pitch as it is off it.

For football is a pantomime that’s available to audiences all year round.

It’s just a shame nobody can camply shout “he’s behind you” to whichever players about to be tackled by Graeme Le Saux anymore.

Only joking Graeme.