Clarets have nothing to fear...not even Roy Keane's balls

Since Burnley battled and beat the long ball of Sheffield United on Monday night there has been an air of optimism around the town.

People finally believe we are on the verge of something special.

Today the Clarets travel to Southampton; the town whose docks launched the Titanic are to be sunk into English football’s third tier while Owen Coyle’s men need to take heed of Guy Havard’s immortal words at Plymouth in 1994 and “set sail to the promise land”.

And nobody could say they didn’t deserve a shot at the playoffs.

The one nil victory against the Blades at the Turf shows that Burnley have nobody to fear in the top six.

With Wolves promoted and Birmingham a win against Preston away from an automatic ticket to Premier League riches, it leaves Sheffield United, Reading, Cardiff and Burnley (fingers crossed) as the final four to duel for the final spot in the top flight.

If those three were to be our potential opponents I would be confident that we could beat any of them over two legs and at a Wembley showpiece.

Not that I’m getting carried away, there’s still plenty to be done but I’d challenge any fan not to start believing our play off place in the top six is almost as certain Roy Keane upsetting someone in the near future.

The Irishman returned to football this week looking as much as ever like an action man doll and with an agenda to set a bunch of records straight.

Given his looks it would not be surprising to hear that Keano’s undercarriage was made of smooth, shiny plastic but you only need to hear him speak to realise there’s a couple of very big balls down there.

And Keane is prepared to use them. His introduction to the media was candidly aggressive, as he spoke of his limited success as a manager, the comparisons with his former team-mates Steve Bruce and Mark Hughes, his differences with the board at Sunderland, as well as a dig at comedy Irishmen Tony Cascarino.

Although he has since apologised to his former team mates (not you Cas), the Roy Keane we know and love is back and ready to rant and rocket Ipswich up the Championship table.

There is no doubt Ipswich will be an improved side next term but even if Owen Coyle’s men are still hanging around the Championship come August there will be no trepidation when it comes to the testosterone Keane will instil in his Tractor Boys.

The pride of Turf Moor is certainly back and can only get stronger as Captain Coyle continues to steer the ship.

And with him at the helm, the golden sandy beaches of Premier League shores are so close we can almost see them from the poop deck.

The days of the old school yard

“Disrespectful and humiliating”.

No not Susan Boyle’s walk on stage at last weeks Britian’s Got Talent but the words used by Blackburn boss Sam Allardyce to describe the behaviour of Liverpool manager Rafa Benitez.

But unlike the virginal Boyle who has had thirty six million hits on YouTube this week, Big Sam’s men were subject to a spot of stage fright at Anfield last Saturday as the red juggernaut sent them back to Lancashire with urine trickling down their shaky legs.

As Fernando Torres put Liverpool two nil ahead, Benitez is alleged to have made a “cut” gesture in the direction of Allardyce.

Watching it back, the movements although maybe suggesting that the game was over was hardly a terrible incident.

There is little evidence to suggest it was made with malice let alone even directed at the Rovers boss and it’s hard to believe a man as big as Allardyce has such sensitive skin.

Maybe he’d forgotten to apply his Oil Olay but to bring that up a week later seems quite petty.

Big Sam then got worse as he morphed into some Bridget Jones style character, complaining about how upsetting it was that Benitez stood him up in his room after the game like some whiney, love-less spinster.

If Benitez had followed David Haye’s example and ripped his shirt open to reveal a beheaded Allardcye on his t-shirt then maybe he’d have a point.

Although many believe that Alladyce was merely applying the rules of the Old Pals Act, opening the way for his friend Sir Alex Ferguson to rip into the Spaniard.

This would make sense, Big Sam is known to dislike Benitez, calling him a “whinger and a moaner” before last weeks game, while Sir Alex will take any opportunity to play mind games with Rafa.

Now it seems the Fergie has become a Malcolm Tucker style Spin Doctor, but with more venom.

During his press conference, Ferguson said that Rafa was arrogant, contemptuous and lacking in humility.

He brought up the incident himself and continued his attack on Benitez despite attempts to divert him.

If Sir Alex is creating his own ammunition then it shows Benitez has become his most fierce rival to date.

Ferguson has duelled with his closest opponents for as long as the afore mentioned Boyle has been waiting to pop her cherry.

In comparison, the rivalry once shared by Fergie and Arsene Wenger seems tame.

Although wait until the two clash in the Champions League Semi Final, Sir Alex will be battling on more fronts the Hitler.

Like a couple of G20 policeman, the team of Allardyce and Ferguson seem to have formed a partnership resembling that of a pair of school bullies by lashing out at the weird goateed kid.

What’s next? Micky Phealan flicking bogeys at Benitez from the dugout? Steve Bruce kneeling down behind Rafa while Mark Hughes pushes him over? Anything’s possible in this fight for supremacy.

It seems Ferguson will doing anything in his power to equal Liverpool’s haul of league titles this season.

It would certainly be some feat for the master of the mind games to eclipse the Anfield club’s record before he retires.

Let’s all just hope nobody buys Sir Alex a catapult and a spud gun for his 68th birthday.

The heartache of Hillsborough

Twenty years ago to the day ninety six people all went to watch a football match and never came back.

FA Cup Semi Final day for one side is usually a day to live long in the memory, one to never forget.

Sadly for Liverpool Football Club this time it was for the wrong reason.

Their game against Nottingham Forest on April 15th 1989 was only six minutes old when referee Ray Lewis blew the whistle to call the game off.

By this time many of their fans were already dead. Panic, confusion and fear had set in.

Air was sucked from the lungs of those in the Leppings Lane End as overcrowding in the pens meant fatal crushing against against the metal barriers.

The pitch at Hillsborough became a makeshift mortuary as bodies young and old were left cold.

One ambulance made it onto the pitch while a further forty were parked outside the ground, held back by police as they reported drunken fans fighting.

Shamefully, the only fight happening on the terraces was for survival.

Fans were left to look after themselves; people were pulled breathless from the terraces, advertising hoardings were turned into makeshift stretchers while many desperately administered first aid.

While most were lucky to get out alive, the rest were not.

Twenty years on and the ninety six that never came back are kept alive by a city that still hasn’t given up on them.

Beautiful, heart wrenching scenes will be played out at Anfield today, as they are every year to remember those who died at Hillsborough.

And while these emotional moments are what keeps those lost souls alive, the unwavering fight for justice is what keeps the families wounds as raw as they were two decades ago.

Through the Taylor Report the dead left an inadvertent legacy of all seater stadia.

While football got a revolution, the victim’s families never caught a glimpse of anyone seeking redemption.

Campaigners still call for a fresh inquiry or inquest, anything that might bring a morsel of accountability and closure.

Despite questions still remaining about the actions or lack of actions of those working for South Yorkshire Police, the 15:15 cut off point in the coroner’s report and the limitations of subsequent investigations the Government and European Courts don’t want any new evidence to be examined.

The fact is that the people of Liverpool know more than anyone dares to investigate.

It’s just a shame their voices can’t be heard above the silence of the guilty.

Accrington Stanley? Who are they? I don't know but here's 20 grand on them getting beat

Every now and then we all like a bet on the football.

Some have a punt on their own side, others to make the weekends action more interesting while there is a considerable few who take it much more seriously.

I occasionally stick a couple of quid on what score Burnley might win if they get their arses in gear or which player emblazed in Claret and Blue will pop up to score the first of what we all despairingly anticipate will be many for the afternoon.

But this week four players from Accrington Stanley and one from Bury have found themselves involved in a betting scandal.

No, they weren’t the ones who bet Claire Balding she wouldn’t make fun of that jockeys teeth during last weeks Grand National.

It’s all much more sinister than the harmless banter which saw over a thousand complaints and forced Balding into a grovelling apology.

Stanley club captain Peter Cavanagh, Jay Harris, David Mannix and Robbie Williams were charged with breaching FA rules on betting on their own team, along with Bury striker Andy Mangan, who incidentally used to play for Stanley.

Accrington went on to lose the match 2-0 against the Shakers on the final day of last season two nil.

The players have been accused of betting more than £10,000 on the game, although bizarrely and perhaps somewhat unfairly Cavanagh stands accused of sticking on a five pound accumulator.

Those found guilty will face lengthy bans for stupidly ignoring clear F.A rules.

The story goes much deeper than a bunch of players betting on a game they think they’ll lose for whatever reason.

In total Betfair said £281,000 in bets were placed on the match and that reducing odds prior to the game did not stop the flood of wagers coming in.

That number eclipsed the average amount placed on a League Two fixture fourteen times over.

I doubt even one of Accrington’s more famous residents Mystic Meg would be confident of risking her reputation on predicting Stanley’s form let alone any cold hard cash.

There could be several reasons behind this unusual pattern. Of course there’s the obvious accusation that the players could in some way be behind a pre determined outcome.

That’s something they and their clubs strenuously deny possible, with Stanley boss John Coleman telling me this week he’s satisfied his players did all they could to win the game and pointed to Bury’s keeper being selected in the league’s team of the week as an example of his sides dominance during the match.

Conspiracy theorists may also like to try a Far East betting ring, gangsters, an internet viral that encouraged a punt similar to that which saw Craig David’s Born to do it Album come second in a poll of best records this week or what about Sir Fred Goodwin deciding to blow a couple of months pension by having a flutter?

Not even Benjamin Button could boast this much of a curious case.

The accused have until April 23 to answer the charges and face FA suspensions if the allegations are proven.

If they are guilty then they will surely be the most unprofessional footballers since Hide and Seek World Champion Amir Zaki.

Of course, we must presume all fives innocence until proven otherwise.

That’s the clubs viewpoint, stating that Cavanagh and Williams, the only two involved who remain at the club will continue to be available for selection.

Although I imagine many will have already nailed the players involved to the cross on this one.

For Accrington Stanley as a club, it’s a shame that they and their few disciples are making the trip to Grimsby today with the stench of something fishy already stuck firmly in the back of their throats.

Queasy like Sunday morning

The pure unadulterated love of football can sometimes, in fact more often than not, leave you with the cruel dull pain of a kick in the testicles way into the day after a game.

I’ve spent countless Sunday mornings nursing that unexplainable gut wrenching stomach pain such a blow can bring.

Yesterday we as Clarets received one of its hardest swings of the boot as Derby’s Paul Connelly’s stoppage time equaliser meant Burnley left Pride Park with a solitary point when all three looked likely.

A win would’ve taken us to within four points of second place with the cement quickly drying on a playoff place. But yesterday it wasn’t to be. Sometimes it just isn’t.

An away point at Derby in most circumstances would be seen as a good result. It’s just when something is snatched away from you at the last second that it feels so cruel. Dropping vital points thanks to a stoppage time goal often causes more devastating deflation than any recession ever could.

It’s sometimes difficult to detach yourself from the reality of what the result actually means.

I remember travelling with a couple of my mates to Bradford City to watch Stan Ternent’s Burnley squander the lead to concede a late equaliser against the Bantams who had been reduced to nine men. For the majority of the furious travelling faithful it was a gut wrenching blow, for one of my friends it was a good point away from home.

Its funny how people have different perceptions of the end result.

You can also look our Carling Cup semi final defeat to Spurs. It would’ve been easy for everyone at Burnley football Club to let that result have a negative effect on the rest of the season but it hasn’t and now we look like making the playoffs.

There will be many fans, players and managers waking up across the country this morning with the same feeling as me.

I doubt there would’ve been many Geordies who didn’t deep down believe that the Alan Shearer impact would help Newcastle get at least a draw against Chelsea.

Thousands lined the streets in Newcastle and London on Wednesday. It could perhaps be said that the protesters at the G20 have more chance of a getting a solution to their worries than the assemblage at St. James.

Nobody needs reminding about the fanciful goings on up in the North East.

Some see the clubs latest move by offering of the celestial Shearer for “eight games only” as nothing more than a PR exercise that will soften the blow of Premier relegation.

Those cynics though are drowned out by the unwavering noises of support and belief that the Toon’s hero can actually do it.

There is no doubt that Shearer will lift the team. With the capable Iain Dowie joining him to provide “not a pretty face but a fresh one”, the pair can definitely forge a great partnership.

To the press Shearer seems au fait and determined to make the players believe they can mount a serious challenge against Championship football next season, which under a week ago seemed almost certain.

Seven games with three winnable home encounters against Portsmouth, Middlesbrough and Fulham will decide the clubs future.

At the moment there is hope in fool’s paradise but without results St James Park will finally fall from the air with a crashing thud.

Another two waking up feeling the strain this morning will be Barry Ferguson and Allan McGregor.

The result of the pair's childish actions while on international duty with Scotland will finally be hitting home as the realisation they won’t be involved in Rangers game against Falkirk today hits home.

An all night drinking binge and swearing at cameras may seem quintessentially Scottish but for these two jocks it’s had career damaging consequences.

Banned for life from the international set up and suspended by their club, the penalty incurred by the duo shows the seriousness of their misdemeanours.

Although the life ban seems slightly harsh, the SFA must be applauded for taking real action against foolish and disrespectful behaviour.

If only the English FA were as hard on some of the divers and cheats we see weekly in the Premiership then we might get somewhere.

I’m not saying throw divers out of the game, but stronger punishments and a governing body with a backbone may help eradicate the problem.

In years gone by drinking so heavily after defeat by the likes of Holland in preparation for your next World Cup Qualifier in less than four days may have been acceptable behaviour.

It just shows how far the game has come that a game against Iceland comes before inebriation.

I recall doing a similar thing in Primary School (swearing not drinking after an important football defeat).

After being told by a stiff and somewhat evil music teacher to put our fingers on lips I decided to use the opportunity to covertly give her the middle finger and occasionally flash the V’s.

I was caught out by this eagle eyed mistress and hauled in for a Saturday morning detention causing me to miss a whole morning of kid’s telly.

Unlike Ferguson and McGregor I was a child and I just hope their case sets an important precedent to the games youngsters who like me needed to learn respect at an early age.

Whether their chastisement and ostracism from the game is a worthy of the crime who knows?

Maybe the SFA should’ve just let George Burley give them both a good, hard kick in the bollocks.